Hit Maxes Evade Taxes Shirt

Size Guide

Size Chart

SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
T Shirt
Unisex Tee
 
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
T Shirt
Unisex Tee
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 17.25 in 25.5 in
M 19.25 in 26 in
L 21.25 in 27 in
XL 23.25 in 28 in
2XL 25.25 in 28.5 in
3XL 27.25 in 29 in
T Shirt
Ladies Tee
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 43.8 cm 64.8 cm
M 48.9 cm 66 cm
L 54 cm 68.6 cm
XL 59 cm 71 cm
2XL 64 cm 71.8 cm
3XL 69.2 cm 73.7 cm
T Shirt
Ladies Tee
  • 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey 99% cotton, 1% polyester
  • Feminine 1/2 inch rib mid scoop neck; sideseamed with slightly tapered Missy fit
  • Double-needle stitching throughout; seamless rib at neck
  • Decoration Type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 30 in 31 in
4XL 32 in 32 in
5XL 34 in 33 in
Sweatshirt
Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 76.2 cm 78.7 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 83.8 cm
Sweatshirt
Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt
  • 8 oz; 55% cotton/45% polyester
  • Air jet yarn for a softer feel and no pilling
  • 1x1 athletic rib cuffs and waistband with spandex; Double-needle stitching
  • Care: Machine wash cold; Tumble dry low
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 20 in 26 in
M 22 in 27 in
L 24 in 28 in
XL 26 in 29 in
2XL 28 in 30 in
3XL 29 in 32 in
4XL 32 in 33 in
5XL 34 in 34 in
Hoodie
Unisex Hoodie
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 50.8 cm 66 cm
M 55.9 cm 74 cm
L 68.6 cm 71 cm
XL 66 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 76 cm
3XL 73.7 cm 81.3 cm
4XL 81.3 cm 83.8 cm
5XL 86.4 cm 86.4 cm
Hoodie
Unisex Hoodie
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
 
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
4XL 30 in 34 in
5XL 32 in 35 in
Long Sleeve
Unisex Long Sleeve
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
S 46 cm 71 cm
M 51 cm 74 cm
L 56 cm 76 cm
XL 61 cm 79 cm
2XL 66 cm 81 cm
3XL 71 cm 84 cm
4XL 76 cm 86 cm
5XL 81 cm 89 cm
Long Sleeve
Unisex Long Sleeve
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 16 in 20.5 in
YS 17 in 22 in
YM 18 in 23.5 in
YL 19 in 25 in
YXL 20 in 26.5 in
T Shirt
Youth Tee
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YXS 40.6 cm 52 cm
YS 43.2 cm 55.9 cm
YM 45.7 cm 59.7 cm
YL 48.6 cm 63.5 cm
YXL 50.8 cm 67.3 cm
T Shirt
Youth Tee
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 16 in 27 in
S 18 in 28 in
M 20 in 29 in
L 22 in 30 in
XL 24 in 31 in
2XL 26 in 32 in
3XL 28 in 33 in
Tank Top
Tank Top
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 40.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 45.7 cm 71 cm
M 50.8 cm 73.6 cm
L 55.9 cm 76.2 cm
XL 61 cm 78.7 cm
2XL 71 cm 83.8 cm
3XL 81.3 cm 81.3 cm
Tank Top
Tank Top
  • 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
  • Heavyweight classic unisex tee
  • Taped neck and shoulders; Tearaway label
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 14 in 27 in
S 15 in 27.5 in
M 16 in 28 in
L 17 in 28.5 in
XL 18 in 29 in
2XL 19 in 29.5 in
Tank Top
Tank Top
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
XS 35.6 cm 68.6 cm
S 38 cm 69.8 cm
M 40.6 cm 71.1 cm
L 43.2 cm 72.4 cm
XL 45.7 cm 73.7 cm
2XL 48.3 cm 74.9 cm
Tank Top
Tank Top
  • 4 oz, 60% combed ring-spun cotton/40% polyester jersey
  • 30 singles
  • Fabric laundered for reduced shrinkage; Runs small, we suggest ordering up
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
Size Bust (in) Length (in) Sleeve (in)
S 18 28 21.5
M 20 29 22
L 22 30 22.5
XL 24 31 23
2XL 26 32 23.5
3XL 28 33 24
Raglan Jersey
Unisex Raglan Jersey
  • 50/25/25 polyester/combed ring-spun cotton/rayon, 32 singles
  • Fabric laundered
  • 1x1 triblend baby rib set-in collar
  • Side seams
  • Curved bottom hem, flatlock finish
  • Satin label
Size Bust (cm) Length (cm) Sleeve (cm)
S 45.7 71.1 54.6
M 50.8 73.7 55.9
L 55.9 76.2 57.2
XL 61.0 78.7 58.4
2XL 66.0 81.3 59.7
3XL 71.1 83.8 61.0
Raglan Jersey
Unisex Raglan Jersey
  • 50/25/25 polyester/combed ring-spun cotton/rayon, 32 singles
  • Fabric laundered
  • 1x1 triblend baby rib set-in collar
  • Side seams
  • Curved bottom hem, flatlock finish
  • Satin label
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 14 in 17 in
YM 16 in 19.5 in
YL 18.75 in 23 in
YXL 20.5 in 24.5 in
Hoodie
Youth Pullover Hoodie
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
SIZE WIDTH LENGTH
YS 35.5 cm 43.2 cm
YM 40.6 cm 49.5 cm
YL 47.6 cm 58.4 cm
YXL 52.1 cm 62.2 cm
Hoodie
Youth Pullover Hoodie
  • 7.75-ounce, 50% cotton, 50% polyester
  • No drawcord on kids' hoodies
  • We suggest ordering one or two sizes up for a fuller fit; Please refer to size chart for actual garment measurements
  • Decoration type: Digital Print
  • $0.00
Quantity:
Estimated arrival: Place your order today (standard shipping method) to receive the product(s) within Oct 29 - Nov 05

Products are fulfilled and shipping from the

Oct 22

Oct 26 - Oct 28

Oct 29 - Nov 05

Category:

“Hit Maxes Evade Taxes” Tee – A humorous gym-themed shirt featuring a weightlifting opossum, capturing a classic gym-comedy vibe.

As of August 2026,”Hit Maxes Evade Taxes” remains a popular gym-humor catchphrase rather than being tied to a specific news event. Mike O’Hearn Lifestyle currently sells a shirt featuring this phrase, while other major marketplaces continue to offer versions incorporating weightlifting imagery, opossums, pandas, and memes.

The Hit Maxes Evade Taxes Shirt combines soft cotton with a classic crew neck, making it easy to wear every day. Its standard unisex fit offers comfort across the chest and shoulders, while the lightweight fabric remains breathable during workouts, errands, or relaxing weekends. Reinforced stitching and a durable front print ensure the shirt maintains its shape and graphic clarity through repeated wear and washing.

The graphic centers on a determined opossum standing behind a heavy barbell, flanked by the cream-colored phrases “hit maxes” and “evade taxes.” The contrast between the serious weightlifting imagery and the absurd humor defines the design. Warm orange accents, dark fur details, cream lettering, and an olive-green shirt create a classic gym aesthetic that remains highly readable.

Hit Maxes Evade Taxes Shirt
Hit Maxes Evade Taxes Shirt

The Appeal of Absurd Fitness Humor

Part of the charm of modern gym humor is its willingness to mix serious training language with completely unserious imagery. “Hit maxes” belongs naturally in strength culture, where athletes often talk about testing their heaviest lifts. Pairing that idea with an opossum and an intentionally ridiculous second line turns familiar motivation into satire.

Bring gym humor and chaotic woodland energy into your next outfit with the Shirt. Wear it for lifting days, casual weekends, or whenever your wardrobe needs a smarter punch line. Pick your preferred size, pair it with jeans or training gear, and let the possum carry the joke.

 

Shipping Policy

Thank you for shopping at Ettagrove. We are committed to delivering your order safely, on time, and in the best condition. To ensure smooth delivery, please double-check all personal information and shipping address accurately and completely at checkout. Incomplete or inaccurate information may lead to delays or delivery problems. Please note that we only ship to valid and verified addresses.

1. Order Processing Time

All orders are processed within 3–5 business days after payment confirmation. During this time, we complete:
  • Order verification
  • Quality inspection
  • Secure packaging
Orders will not be processed on weekends or US holidays, including:
  • New Year’s Day (Jan 1)
  • Martin Luther King Jr. Day
  • Presidents’ Day
  • Memorial Day
  • Independence Day (Jul 4)
  • Labor Day
  • Thanksgiving Day
  • Christmas Eve & Christmas Day (Dec 24–25)

2. Shipping Methods, Delivery Time & Cost

Domestic (United States)

  • Method: Standard Road Shipping
  • Estimated Delivery Time: 8-12 business days (after processing)
  • Flat Rate: $5.99 per order
  • Carriers: USPS, UPS, or FedEx (selected based on location, package size, and service availability)

International (Europe, Canada & Australia)

  • Method: Standard International Shipping
  • Estimated Delivery: 10–15 business days (after processing)
  • Flat Rate: $13 per order
  • Carriers: DHL, UPS, Yun Express, or Yanwen (depending on region)
After your order is shipped, you will receive a confirmation email with tracking information. Please note that delivery times may vary due to holidays, destination country, and courier service operations.

3. Delivery Area

Currently we ship to:
  • United States: Including postal box addresses (APO/FPO addresses are not supported at this time)
  • International: Europe, Canada, and Australia (standard shipping only)

4. Shipping Information

Total Delivery Time = Processing Time + Transit Time All delivery times are estimates only. Delivery may be delayed due to factors beyond our control, including:
  • Shipping carrier operations
  • Customs procedures
  • Weather conditions
  • Holidays
  • Incomplete or inaccurate shipping information
While we always strive for on-time delivery, Ettagrove is not responsible for delays caused by third-party carriers or external circumstances. For urgent orders, we recommend allowing extra time for delivery, especially during peak seasons.

Additional Information

Multiple Delivery Addresses Our system currently does not support delivery to multiple addresses in a single order. To deliver to different locations, please place separate orders. Customs Fees & VAT (International Orders) All international shipments are processed on a DDU (Delivered Duty Unpaid) basis. Ettagrove does not collect VAT or import duties at checkout. Any applicable customs fees, VAT, or import duties are the responsibility of the recipient upon delivery. We recommend checking with your local customs office for more information.

Need Support?

If you have any questions, concerns, or need support with your order, please contact us at: Email: [email protected] Our support team is available 24/7 and typically responds within 24 hours. Thank you for choosing Ettagrove. We are committed to providing a reliable and seamless delivery experience.

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